So just me here. I decided to start this journey after a friend played some reverse psychology on me. Yes she twisted things around to bring some truth in. But I also had other people in my life encourage me to write my crazy thoughts down. Yes I say crazy because, it’s literally me just having a conversation in my head as I drive, or walk. I look at things in everyday life and it turns in to an ohhh!
I’m not very good at being open with people. And I’m not a person to speak in front of people either. But I’ve learned that I do enjoy writing my thoughts. The things I’ve written are pretty much about me and my walk in Christ. The things I struggle with and how God gives me an answer.
It’s funny how the enemy starts to attack you when you move towards the path God has put you on. These past couple of weeks have been very difficult for me. I realized that once I started writing I was opening areas in my heart that had been closed. My inner fears, rejection, areas of my vulnerability were visible. He was showing areas in my heart I had not known. But the devil doesn’t stay back, he saw my guard down and made his way in as well. I turned to a place of depression and began shutting down. Pushed away those who I thought were rejecting me, and wanted to be alone. But in the midst of this my eyes were still on God. I surrounded myself with uplifting music, I cried out to him as I was drowning . I needed him more than ever and I knew it. And guess what he met me there, right where I needed him.
God doesn’t leave us in when we come in to a state like this. He’s totally there and he wants us to need him. You can’t heal properly if you have covered those wounds incorrectly. They hurt, oh how they hurt. But once you allow Him to show you , and then heal you correctly your spirit is free.
I’m in a better place now. Though I know Gods not finished. I’m a work in progress. And there’s much more healing to be done. But I want to be vulnerable with him. And I will continue.